What if Happy Internet Cafe was a Cosplay Internet Cafe?
by jellysunfish
Summary: In which Happy is a cosplay/internet cafe, Ye Xiu is a pro player magnet, and Chen Guo is a shrewd businesswoman


**What if Happy Internet Cafe was a Cosplay Internet Cafe?**

Written for the June fanfiction contest on discord!

Prompt: Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn't head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.

Summary: In which Happy is a cosplay/internet cafe, Ye Xiu is a pro player magnet, and Chen Guo is a shrewd businesswoman

Tags: All叶, allye, cosplay, crossdressing, crackfic, tw minor sexual harassment, help i dont know how chinese money works, timeline is slightly off, let's play spot the author's favorite anime characters

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(1)

Ye Xiu leant back languidly in his chair, his arms stretching out and coming to rest behind his head. "I feel that I match all of the qualifications, and work and pay aren't a problem. So how about it?"

Chen Guo eyed him up and down. "Stand up."

Ye Xiu took the time to stretch out his legs before lazily getting to his feet. Chen Guo circled him like a vulture coming upon a juicy piece of meat, muttering comments to herself.

"Hmm, he's a little bit tall, but has pretty delicate features." She crouched down to inspect his legs. "Long legs, not too much muscle..." She circled over to look at his back side. "Hmmm..."

Suddenly Ye Xiu felt a Smack! across his buttocks.

"Um...!" Ye Xiu yelped and rubbed his abused backside.

Chen Guo covered her mouth and snickered. "Oh, you'll do."

"Haha..?"

"So which shift do you want?" she asked.

"Night shift is fine!" Ye Xiu figured that he'd avoid the crowds and make some extra money. He didn't mind switching his sleep schedule and he had always been pretty good at pulling all-nighters, thinking back to his time playing Glory all night long with Su Muqiu.

"Absolutely not!"

"Oh?" Were all the night shift posts taken?

"It'd be a waste to have a good looking guy like you take the night shift! If you want a less busy time you can take either the morning or the evening shift! Pretty boys like you need their beauty sleep!" Chen Guo explained.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. "Uhh... Okay... I guess I'll take the evening shift then."

Chen Guo clapped her hands together and gestured for him to follow her. "Great! You'll work from 4 until 10. You get a break at 7 to eat. Most customers only come to use the computers, but if they need any help or want to order food they'll ring the service bell. We offer special service if they order from us, which is that they can request you to do something, within reason. This usually means saying a line or doing a pose, so do your best to please the customer, alright?"

"Hmm?" Ye Xiu blinked. Wait. What was that last sentence?

"We'll start you off easy, but we'll want to take advantage of your good genes later. We'll let you have a trial period tonight, but you can start officially as soon as tomorrow." She started rummaging through a closet in the back room. She finally pulled out some folded clothing in a box that Ye Xiu assumed was the uniform. "You're about the same height as xiao Li, so this should fit you. I'll show you the employee locker rooms!"

In front of the locker rooms, Chen Guo shoved the clothes she was holding into his arms.

"Try it on!"

Ye Xiu looked into the box. "Uh, boss, this... is your uniform?"

"You're chickening out now?" She smacked his back. "You signed up for this, remember? How can we be Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe, the only cosplay internet cafe in all of China, without the cosplay?!"

Ye Xiu almost choked. "Cosplay?"

Chen Guo face palmed. "Have you been paying attention to your surroundings at all? Or at least been listening to me explaining your work?"

Ye Xiu looked around. At a second glance, it turned out that all the staff were wearing costumes of some sort. He had been so focused on getting out of the cold he really hadn't noticed it!

He'd probably give a bad impression if he admitted he hadn't been listening to his new boss though, so he coughed and said, "I'll go change now."

If he came out with a slight flush in his cheeks, it was a small matter. Well, maybe not, since Chen Guo had squealed and promptly whipped out her camera and begun snapping pictures of him to post on her Weibo. She gave him a big grin and a thumbs up.

"We'll give you proper training with wigs and make up later. Can't wait to have you crossdress~!"

A look of horror passes over Ye Xiu's face. Just what did he sign up for?

(2) Su Mucheng

Dancing Rain: Big bro, you doing alright?

Lord Grim: dw, I got a job!

Dancing Rain: lol who would hire you. Your only skill is gaming

Dancing Rain: you should go back to my place! I'll provide for you, and you can be my housewife!

Lord Grim: ...

Lord Grim: that was mean.

Dancing Rain: where did you get a job?

Lord Grim: Happy Internet Cafe!

Dancing Rain: you mean that cosplay cafe across the street?

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: omg are you in cosplay rn?

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: im coming over

Lord Grim: dont.

Lord Grim: mucheng im warning you

Lord Grim: It's an internet cafe. What if you get mobbed?

Dancing Rain: dw im good at disguises!

It turned out that Mucheng's "disguise" consisted of a pair of glasses, a hat, and a face mask. Yup, real subtle Mucheng. Everyone was thinking that, but no one dared approach. Why would Su Mucheng even go to an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after all? When Chen Guo took her id card, she nearly started screaming, but was quieted by a wink and shushing finger sign. Through the power of fangirling and selfies, Mucheng was able to obtain the whole second floor to herself, as well as Ye Xiu as her personal server. He was currently dressed in a simple school blazer with a blood red wig. Mucheng was snapping pics of him left and right.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. "You better not post these."

"I know," she said plainly. "These are for my personal enjoyment. Besides, I'm supposed to get a 'special service' with my ice cream. So keep still while I take more photos."

Later Chen Guo dreamily asked him, "Hey, do you think Su Mucheng will come again? Should I build a private room for her? I should build a private room for her."

Ye Xiu sweatdropped again. Hey, don't ask me if you've already decided.

(3) Huang Shaotian

Tang Rou thought that Huang Shaotian was a creep when he showed up outside around 10pm and covered in scarves, so she went to go get Chen Guo.

"Old Ye!" He whisper yelled, tiptoeing through the door. "Where the hell are you?"

Ye Xiu poked him in the back and the blond puppy jumped five feet in the air. "I'm right here."

"Shit! You're Old Ye?!" Huang Shaotian spluttered disbelievingly. To be fair, Ye Xiu was crossdressing, but you'd think that Huang Shaotian would have noticed him.

The short flouncy skirt of the black and white school uniform dress along with the mismatching colorful socks showed off his mile long legs wonderfully, and the orange wig with green highlights had pigtails that framed his handsome face. He was taller than a real girl, with slightly sharper angles, but all in all, he looked really good crossdressing.

"How could you? After all these years of friendship, you've forgotten me so soon?" Ye Xiu said in mock sadness.

"Nononono! That's not it at all! I haven't forgotten you though maybe I should seeing as you're an old man dressing up as a girl that is not that you're some creep or anything but just that you've retired and such but I promise I haven't forgotten you after all you're probably my best friend after Captain and all of the Blue Rain players and - Hey! Why are you leaving?!"

Ye Xiu turned in the general direction of the word explosion and shrugged. "It's the end of my shift. I'm going to change." And he sauntered off toward the back room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Shaotian sneakily grabbed his phone to snag a picture. He grinned down at the photo evidence of the battle god crossdressing.

"There he is, that's the creep!" Tang Rou had come back with Chen Guo in tow.

"F-shit! I'm not a creep! That Old Ye invited me!"

Chen Guo and Tang Rou looked at each other. A stalker?

"I'm going to have to see your ID."

Some selfies and monetary transactions later, Huang Shaotian and Ye Xiu were in the private room running through the plan on the boneyard record.

"Hey Old Ye, it says that if I order some food, I can get special service. I'm going to make you PK with me!"

"Not happening." Ye Xiu refused plainly.

"Why not?! PKPKPK!"

"Because it's not my shift." Ye Xiu wasn't obligated to do anything for anyone right now. He was also tired after a long day taking requests from customers and didn't want to deal with Shaotian's shit right now. The boss had also given him a strict bedtime of 1am at the latest and he wanted to get in all of his dungeon runs before then.

"..."

Ye Xiu suddenly felt a chill down his back. Shaotian being silent? Never a good thing.

The next day at 4 pm.

"OLD YE!" A blond fluffball came flying at Ye Xiu. Ye Xiu tumbled to the ground under the unexpected tackle.

"Oh god."

"PKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPK!"

Six hours later...

"Boss, please kick him out." Ye Xiu was disheveled and exhausted, pale and looking like he was about to collapse.

Chen Guo paused from counting the money Huang Shaotian had spent on reserving the private room and repeatedly ordering food with service for 6 hours. "...Hmm? What did you say?"

(3.5) All Star Weekend

"Ye Xiu! You're really Ye Qiu?"

"...Yes."

"Dammit! We should have charged Huang Shaotian more!"

(4) Ye Qiu

For the Lunar New Year, it turned out that Ye Qiu had found out he had retired from Excellent Era and was now working at Happy.

"Brother," he tutted, "Come home for New Years. Do you even have a place to stay?"

"I'm going to work over time!" He just wanted to avoid going home over the holiday and play Glory all day.

"Fine, then I'm going to stay too."

"Go home little brother. Unless... the boss has been wanting to do twin cosplays..."

"Happy New Year, I have to go attend to mother and little dot! Let me know when you're coming back already! Bye!" In a flash, Ye Qiu was out the door.

Chen Guo came out of the back room holding a box of costumes. "Why did he leave? I had the cutest matching cosplays for you two!"

(5) Yu Wenzhou

"Captain Yu! What are you doing here?" Ye Xiu was so surprised to see Yu Wenzhou turn up one day that his half and half red and white wig almost fell off.

Yu Wenzhou was disguised in naught but a pair of dark sunglasses. Since Huang Shaotian had turned up the other time, more and more Blue Rain fans had been coming to Happy to see if they could catch a glimpse of their idol. Seeing the captain himself, of course some Yu Wenzhou fans crowded around to see if they could get an autograph. But as they approached, suddenly an ice cold aura appeared, and the fans decided it would probably be a good idea to back off.

"Hello Senior." The blue-haired captain greeted amiably. "I came to see you in your new place of work."

A slender hand came up to readjust his wig. "... I meant, how did you find me here?"

Yu Wenzhou smiled and merely handed him a thick wad of cash. "Let's discuss this in the private room, shall we?"

So Ye Xiu led him up the stairs and Yu Wenzhou explained over coffee and biscuits. "Several weeks ago, Shaotian disappeared after the match with Excellent Era, and later claimed that he wanted to stay in Hangzhou for an extra day to visit family. He has no family in Hangzhou, so of course he must've been visiting someone other than family. He clearly lied about it, and as such it couldn't have been anyone he would publically visit."

He took another sip of his coffee. "The night he disappeared also happened to be the day the boneyard record was broken by Lord Grim and a swordsman Flowing Tree. Lord Grim is infamous in the tenth server with his technical skill, and he started in the tenth server around the time when you retired. Of course, I had a sneaking suspicion it was you, but Shaotian's disappearance confirmed it. When he returned after his one day visit to 'family' he was in a surprisingly good mood and kept snickering at his phone. Naturally, I confisticated it and searched through the contents. Did you know he had this picture of you on it?"

He held up his phone and Ye Xiu saw that there was a picture of him crossdressing, shot from the back as he walked away to change clothes. It was slightly blurry, as it was dark, and Ye Xiu was surprised (but not that surprised) to know that Yu Wenzhou could recognize him even though the view was from the back and he had been in costume.

"That little brat!" Ye Xiu exclaimed. "Who would take advantage of such a good-looking guy like me, taking pictures of me on the sly?"

Yu Wenzhou put the picture away, ignoring the self-proclaimed 'good-looking' god. Ye Xiu noted that he didn't delete the picture though. Wenzhou continued with his explanation. "When I saw this, I knew immediately that Shaotian had not gone to visit family but had rather gone to visit you at your workplace. A quick search of cosplay cafe and Hangzhou turned up this place. Did you know that this is the only cosplay internet cafe in China?"

"...Your deductive work is too scary Captain Yu." Ye Xiu sighed. "So what did you hope to gain by coming here?"

Yu Wenzhou gave a little smile. "I was hoping to perhaps chat about some tactics and maybe play a match or two."

Ye Xiu cracked his knuckles and began stretching out his arms in preparation. "It'll be 100 yuan for each match, and you'll need to buy food for any other requests."

Yu Wenzhou tilted his head. "Hmm?"

"Boss's rules."

"Ah."

(6) Zhang Xinjie and Han Wenqing

When Han Wenqing and Zhang Xinjie came to Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe one evening, they didn't even bother disguising themselves despite being in the midst of Excellent Era territory, in fact, literally across the street from their so-called rivals.

A whisper chorus of boos echoed up from the computers. The quiet protest was quickly vanquished with the signature Han Wenqing GlareTM, resulting in the offenders groveling on the floor, offering their wallets as penitence.

All the commotion brought Chen Guo over. She reflexively wanted to jump back when he turned his gaze to her, but she held her ground and offered, "What can Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe do for you today, God Han, God Zhang?"

"Where's Ye Qiu?"

Zhang Xinjie smoothed out the conversation. "We would like to rent out the private room and talk with Senior Ye if possible."

"It's 200 yuan per match and you need to order food for any other requests. The private room has a lock. Ye Xiu can let you in."

Han Wenqing picked up a wallet off the floor, and dropped it on the counter, much to the dismay of one unfortunate booer.

"Yo Old Han." Today Ye Xiu was dressed in a cute sailor themed idol costume with a long dark colored wig. He gave a mock salute. "Never thought I'd see the two of you here in a cosplay cafe in Excellent Era territory no less."

"Never thought I'd see you here crossplaying at an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after having retired no less," the older player spat back.

"Let's go upstairs and fight in the arena instead of in the lobby, Captain, Senior."

Ye Xiu laughed and led the two of them to the stairs. "You first."

Zhang Xinjie, feeling that it was out of character for Ye Xiu to be polite asked, "Why don't you go first, senior?"

"Gasp, Xiao Zhang! How perverted! You want to peek under my skirt as I go up the stairs, don't you?"

Xinjie turned all shades of red and blurted, "That wasn't it at all!"

Han Wenqing was not amused. "If we wanted a peek we would just lift it up. Now show me that unspecialized character of yours." He began pushing Ye Xiu up the stairs.

"Ooh how brazen, Old Han."

(7) Tiny Herb

Business at Happy was booming. Not only was Chen Guo obtaining more business from users hoping to see their favorite pro player, but she was able to charge the visiting pro players exorbitant amounts and they would gladly pay to play with Ye Xiu. Using the extra money, Chen Guo was able to upgrade the private room upstairs to include a full row of new computers and a comfy couch and coffee table.

The upgrades were a good investment. How else would the entire Tiny Herb pro team be able to fit comfortably into the room?

"Order whatever food you want. The club will pay for it. Don't forget to think of your requests. You can ask him to do anything reasonable, so make sure you learn from this opportunity."

"Yes Captain!"

Ye Xiu sighed. Today he was wearing a black and white sailor style girl's school uniform, along with a short brown wig and white cap. He also had a staff and a stuffed animal to complete the cosplay, but they were too annoying to carry around while playing. "I left Excellent Era so that I didn't have to be a training partner..." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that senior?" Wang Jiexi blinked his uneven eyes.

"Nothing, nothing. Just a reminder that it's 300 yuan per person per match and that I require a break between matches. Oh, I know. While you're waiting for me, you can fight Xiao Tang. I'm coaching her!" He gave a big thumbs up.

The whole ordeal was like one huge party with food and fun and Glory. Tang Rou despite getting utterly smashed bravely continued to fight, earning the respect of Tiny Herb. Ye Xiu then proceeded to crush them all in return. It was a bit depressing to think that all of them combined had still been trounced by a single guy dressed like an elementary school girl.

"Thank you Senior Ye!" exclaimed one Gao Yingjie on the way out.

"Yes. Thank you for your guidance Senior Ye. I hope to be like you someday." echoed Qiao Yifan.

Ye Xiu patted both on the head. It was nice to see rookies with such enthusiasm. "You two have a lot to learn, but you also have a lot of potential. Keep working hard. And Yifan, why don't you think about what I said?"

'Why don't you try out a Ghostblade! It would suit you!' Yifan kept thinking of this phrase over and over again walking out of the internet cafe, such that he almost bumped into Chen Guo.

"Woah! Careful there." She steadied him on his feet. "You know, you're pretty cute." Chen Guo handed Yifan a business card. "If you ever need a job or even a side job, you should contact me! I have some cute cosplays that would be perfect for you!"

Yifan almost choked. When he said he wanted to be like Senior Ye, he didn't mean it that way!

(8) Jiang Botao

"So what brings you here by yourself?"

"Senior Ye! Please grant me a request!" Jiang Botao bowed deeply at a 90 degree angle.

"No need to be so formal," Ye Xiu laughed. "As long as you buy something from here, I'll be willing to hear you out."

Jiang Botao ordered a What a Big One ice cream cone. "Sooo..." he started nervously, "ummm... Please... Allow me to record a message from you to captain!"

"Oh? To Xiao Zhou? What would you like me to say?"

"Please say, 'Zhou Zekai, Jiayou!' a-and then umm, please blow a kiss!"

"Hoho? Well, alright get your camera ready!"

Jiang Botao aimed the camera at him portrait-wise, making sure to capture the full picture of Ye Xiu in a purple accented swimsuit and blue and white jacket covering his shirtless torso. He didn't need a wig this time, but settled for some styling with gel to achieve the character's likeness.

Ye Xiu grinned, not caring that it was out of character for the cosplay. "Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!" He winked saucily and blew a kiss.

Jiang Botao was so grateful he kept thanking Ye Xiu over and over again and insisted on giving him extra cash. "For the wink! Please keep it for the wink!"

Later...

"Captain! Please make an effort to connect more with the rookies! They're all intimidated by your silence!"

"..."

"If you coordinate well with them and get into the playoffs I'll give you this!" Jiang Botao pressed a button on his phone, playing the video.

"Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!" *Wink* *kiss*

Zhou Zekai stared at the little screen. "Want... Senior..."

"If you want it, please make an effort to get along!"

Zhou Zekai nodded emphatically.

"If we do well this season, we can go visit him later!"

Zhou Zekai was already walking out the door.

(9) Happy

"God Ye! Is it true that you initially worked as a staff member for Happy Internet Cafe?" Cameras flashed during the press conference following the Challenger League.

Chen Guo butted in, "It's Happy _Cosplay_ Internet Cafe. Get your facts right!"

"God Ye! Is it true that you engaged in crossplay?"

"It's not that bad when you get used to it! Besides, my boss says I should show off my 'legs for days.'"

"God Ye! Is it true that the other members of Happy cosplay as well?"

Chen Guo again interrupted. "At this time I would like to announce the limited edition release of our new cosplay photobook. It includes both group and individual cosplay photos of all of Team Happy. This limited edition will also include a section of Captain Ye's best cosplays and a new cosplay as One Autumn Leaf. The photobooks will be on sale starting at midnight tonight and will cost 800 yuan. Proceeds will go to the development of Team Happy and also Ye Xiu's costume repertoire. Thank you for your patronage."

All the reporters gossipped among themselves. The males complained it was way too expensive, more than double the price of other costume books, but were quite sorely tempted by the One Autumn Leaf photo. The females wanted to see those legs for days.

The clubs were some of the first to buy the books when they came on sale. When questioned why they wanted to help the enemy the teams merely said, for research. Yeah, for research.

And so, Team Happy became the most influential team in the alliance for the sole reason of Ye Xiu fangirling.

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/End notes:

*sweating* Yeah this totally fits the prompt. "Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn't head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager." Hahaha *runs away*/


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